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Let the Change Crack Us Open

arrows: oldway points right, new way points left

How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.”

Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow

The number one thing that holds people back is resistance to change.

Jen Sincero, You are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth

Be willing to come apart.

Law 2 of Journey into Power, Baron Baptiste

Isn’t it interesting how the Universe sends us messages all the time, in all sorts of ways, often repeating herself until she’s like, what’s a girl gotta do to get this clown to listen??? AND how equally interesting it is that we willfully ignore these messages, choosing instead to mix ourselves a cocktail, pull up any one of our online distractions, or spend our evenings with Netflix in a blatant attempt to not hear what is being said?

Our comfort zones have clearly defined parameters. To venture beyond them is hard. We don’t want to be cast out of the tribe or seen as too vulnerable to others, and we certainly don’t want to fall apart. Those very words conjure up an image of a hysterical, out-of-control, crazy person that we most certainly are not, thank you very much. I’ve got my shit dialed in over here, which gives me a level of superiority and the right to judge those who get overwhelmed, anxious, and lose their shit. Because if we keep casting stones, we don’t have to chance a look down and see the stones that surround our own feet, that we have cast at our own damn selves when we were falling apart.

If we’re honest with ourselves, and if we are able to look back with compassion and grace for ourselves, we’ve all had moments or extended periods of time spent coming apart. When we just didn’t know what to do anymore, had no answers, no logic or common sense to fall back on. When everything seemed turned on its head and all we could do was hold on and blindly trust that some glimmer of hope was out there, somewhere. It was all so very painful, soul-deep, and nonsensical. And somehow raw, alive, and so very human. Those times shook us out of our stupor, moved us beyond our comfort zone, and drew up new and extended parameters beyond the old ones that weren’t there any longer.

Who we were meant to be…to contemplate this tidbit creates the realization that we may not be that person, which strikes us deep in our gut and makes us feel wobbly about our life choices. Sure, the person we are today isn’t who we thought we were going to be at 25, but that’s part of living and evolving as a human being — learning, growing, adjusting. But we don’t have a chance in hell to be who we were meant to be if we don’t risk vulnerability, stop caring so much about how others are going to respond to us being real about coming apart, and leaning into the change and letting it crack us wide open, blood, guts, tears, and all.

The very act of creation, of something being born, is messy, laborious, and traumatic. It’s also beautiful, empowering, and requires breaking apart and letting the unknown take over, trusting that something amazing and better is coming. Our role is to see breaking open, embracing the change, and being willing to come apart as necessary steps, knowing that we are finally listening to the messages the Universe is sending us and taking steps forward towards who we were meant to be.

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